In Loving MemoryPOSTED JUL 17, 2023

I lost my dad yesterday. He was 64.

I don't write much about family on this website. My grandpa, my dad's own dad, passed away a couple years ago without mention here. I have two more nieces now, since I posted about Sabrina and Damien . My peak blogging days are 15 years behind me, but it feels appropriate to post here now.

My dad, John Grabow, was always full of life. He liked to build things and have adventures. He was a child of the 70s and I was a child of the 90s. He loved muscle cars and I loved the internet. We grew apart, as family often does, but I remain my father's son. Our creativity took such different forms but mine did spark from his. We went on road trips and we shared an enthusiasm for HiFi. Many of my early favorite songs were those he cranked up on the Kenwood system in his Toyota Supra. I'd love to see it all light up, and I'd hear the clunk of the CD changer while he selected tracks on the head unit . Every time he played Another Brick In The Wall he'd turn it way up at the end, as the helicopter blades in the song were whirring, so we could get the big 'boom' over the subwoofer in the back, a subwoofer he custom built into the spare tire. He was proud of the stuff he made.

I'm blessed with a big family, and we're all supporting each other. I'm walking around Belmont Lake Park in NY, a place we spent time with him, as I type this on my phone. I can see little kids here now, with their own young dads. I wish them the best day possible, because I know they don't keep coming forever.

He was 64. The original diagnosis was only nine months ago. Just six weeks ago I was walking with him in the hospital, and it was no trouble for him at all. The tumor was gone and we were gonna get this bleeding figured out. We could have a few more years. Does it feel too early and too sudden? On some level I can't help but feel that, but I know in my heart that God is good, and I'm thankful for the years my dad did have. I teased him when he turned 40, and he teased me back when I went "over the hill" myself. One week ago it was my 41st birthday. Talking was suddenly difficult for him, but he wished me a happy birthday. That would be our last conversation.

Farewell, dad. I thank you for everything you did for me, and I pray that you're having amazing new adventures in eternity. Someday, when God says my work is done here, we'll catch up.

In loving memory of John Grabow, my dad.
   1959-2023

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